Daring to Heal

“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.” – Brene Brown in Daring Greatly

A couple months ago I wrote about my vision board in a blog post called Welcome to Someday. This board shows all the amazing things I want to do in my life. I was going to wait and give an update on my vision board after at least completing one of the items on it. However, recently staring at my vision board as brought me to an important realization.

When I first created it with words of strength and healing and images of travel, in my head I was saying I need to get stronger first in order to accomplish the rest of the goals on the board.

For the past 10 years I have dwelt with a chiropractic issue. I continue to deal with all the emotions and pain associated with my injury. All of these years I have continued to think that if I do X it will hurt, so I simply CAN’T do X until I’m healed.

Then the universe steps in. I truly believe we all have certain conversations, and engage with the right people, to guide us in our life journey – the purpose of which comes to light when we are ready to see it. It’s all part of the journey: the whole motto of this blog.

In separate conversations, my doctor and my mom both reminded me it’s okay to still do things. My body NEEDS to still do things in order to get stronger and learn how to heal. In other words, when I fall while ice skating and wake up with a sore neck it doesn’t mean I should never go ice skating again. The more I go ice skating the more my body will get used to it.

At the time, I listened to their advice, but it was taking its time to sink in. See, instead, I kept dwelling on the first part – going ice skating and getting heard and feeling this pain all over again. I am SOO tired of this pain. I hate that I can’t do! What about surfing? Should I not be going surfing next month? If I feel like this after ice skating, maybe I should live in a bubble. My thoughts swirled.

I stared at my vision board. I can never do these things because I will never get past the “get strong” goal. That’s when their advice really sank in. I’m not supposed to heal first in order to do all of the things I want to do in my life. I need to play anyway. I need to “Take the Leap” as my board says while I’m healing. I sat there and thought about this for a second. If I do the things that make me happy, the things that will nourish my soul, even if I feel pain afterward it’ll be worth it. Surfing, for an example, has been a goal since watching the movie Point Break when I was a kid. Yes, it will probably make me sore. But at least I can say I did it. I’ll just have to take the steps to soothe the pain after, but it’ll be worth it. Play first, then schedule an adjustment / massage or whatever.

Now I’m going to be completely honest. While I am beginning to accept this realization, I held my previous way of thinking about my neck for 10 years. It’s going to take a few reminders to completely change my hesitations. But I’m working on it.

“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.” – Brene Brown in Daring Greatly

I read this passage in a book recently. It’s one I intend to stick to my bathroom wall for a daily reminder. Those of you who know me – hold me accountable to it. I may need your help to pull myself out of my own head from time to time until I really get it.

This is me daring to heal!

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